Photographs by Meadow Linn

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Not All Dreams Are Meant to Come True

Do you ever find yourself yearning for something that never seems to manifest? There might be a simple reason why it’s not coming to fruition…

Each spring I find there’s a palpable joy that courses through my body. It’s the kind of joy that can’t necessarily be attributed to any one thing in particular; rather it’s the sense of possibility that permeates everything, even the air. Bright green leaves unfurl on the trees and colorful flowers are everywhere. Songbirds fill my ears with their beautiful melody and the ground is soft and fertile.

I love the beautiful irises in the spring
One of my favorite springtime activities is planning my summer vegetable garden. Last night while reading the Baker Creek heirloom seed catalog, I found myself wishing I had a greenhouse (something I wish every spring). With a greenhouse, I could start tomatoes, peppers, and eggplants from seed, rather than buying them as plants from a nursery. I’d have more choice of shape, size, color, and flavor, instead of choosing from the select few plants available locally. I could also grow lettuce in the winter and maybe even curl up in it for a catnap on cool but sunny spring days.

For many years I’ve dreamed of living off the land. I fantasize about growing and drying beans, canning and freezing fruits and vegetables for winter, and maybe even knitting warm sweaters from the wool of my own sheep. I envision rustic baskets brimming with fresh produce and a large country kitchen filled with the intoxicating scent of drying herbs and fresh baked bread. Just picturing this scene fills me with a warm, happy feeling.

Sometimes, however, dreams don’t come true because we don’t actually desire what we envision. Often, we want to want a particular fantasy because of the feeling it gives us, or we want to be the kind of person who would do or have such a thing; yet, it’s not truly our heart’s desire. Although the idea of spending my days harvesting sweet strawberries with a large brimmed sunhat and shucking corn on a covered verandah fill me with delight, I also know that I’d eventually tire of kneeling in the strawberry beds and would probably long for a night out on the town and a good manicure.

I still want a greenhouse (though I don’t have anywhere to put it), but I also wonder whether I would actually take the time to plant seeds and nurture them with the love and care they need to grow into strong, healthy plants when I could just go to the nursery instead.

Blackberry cordial? Pie? Jam? The possibilities are endless!
It can be a valuable exercise to evaluate your fantasies, desires, and wishes, and then ask yourself why they might not be coming to fruition. There are many reasons why the life of your dreams might not be manifesting, but one very probable explanation is that you actually don’t want it to. It can be beneficial to spend time thinking about the reality of your dreams. For me, the reality of living a subsistence life would mean that I probably wouldn’t have time for other endeavors, such as writing and traveling. So, subconsciously I haven’t pursued this path. 

Additionally, usually at the root of our desires is a deeper emotion or feeling we’re yearning for. In my mind I’ve equated homesteading with creativity, freedom, and joy because some of my happiest memories include carefree summers working on farms and finding delicious ways to make use of the bounty in the garden. Now that I know what this dream represents, I can seek out those qualities in other areas of my life. 

What are your fantasies? How would your life be different if they manifested? Do you really want them to come true or do you only want to want them? What are you really yearning for? 

Bo’s Banana Maple Mystic Mini-Muffins
(Gluten-Free and Dairy-Free)

I’m attracted to living off the land because I’ve invented a fantasy in which it provides lots of tranquil time in nature and lots of time to create, which probably is quite far from the reality. There are, however, ways that I can integrate more of those qualities into my current life.

For instance, my friend, Robert Holden (author of Loveability), recently requested a Mystic Chef muffin recipe that he could make with his daughter Bo. Excited by the chance to be creative while writing a new recipe, I rolled up my sleeves, put on my apron, and got to work mixing and blending my way to muffin nirvana.

These muffins are filled with love and joy, and that is the true alchemy of food…the ability to share love while nourishing the mind, body, and spirit.

Makes 48 mini muffins

1 ¼ cup brown rice flour
¼ cup potato starch (not flour)
2 Tbsp. tapioca flour
1 tsp. baking powder
½ tsp. baking soda
½ tsp. sea salt
1/3 cup coconut oil, melted
2 eggs
½ cup almond milk
1 tsp. pure vanilla extract
¾ cup maple syrup
1 cup mashed ripe bananas (2 bananas)
¾ cup diced walnuts
¾ cup sweetened shredded coconut

Preheat the oven to 350ºF.

In a medium bowl, combine the brown rice flour, potato starch, tapioca flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.

In a small pan over low heat melt the coconut oil. In the bowl of a standing mixer, combine the coconut oil, eggs, almond milk, vanilla, and maple syrup. Mix on medium-low until fully combined. Add the dry ingredients and mix on medium-low. Mix in the mashed banana. Stir in the walnuts by hand.

Grease your mini muffin tins. Use a small spoon to fill the tin ¾ full. Sprinkle the top with coconut. Bake until golden, about 15 minutes.

Remove the muffins from the oven and cool on a rack, in the muffin tin. When the tin is cool enough to touch, remove the muffins from the tin and cool completely.


  1. I want a perfectly clean and organized home...with that hot Joe Mantaglio from True blood following me from room to room carrying my cup of tea and cookie for me.

    Seriously - GREAT post!!! I believe that If we REALLY want something we will move heaven and earth to make it happen. But sometime the wanting is more fun than the actual having...

    Except for the Joe M. thing, in that case the actuality WOULD be better!

    Kathy Dannel Vitcak

  2. I have a good example of this very thing. Last year I was very keen to attend this year's urban sketchers symposium in Barcelona. Now I realise this is the last thing I want to do and if I want to go sketching all I have to do is find the time to do it.

  3. I have longed for the time when I could be outside in nature with my dog and my camera. I now have that, and it is exquisite. I realise now that I also need structure and, more importantly, an income. Dreams coming true one glorious aspect of life, but having balance is just as important. A thoughtful, post, Meadow. Thank you.

  4. Many dreams don't make sense to us,visions so we dismiss them and go about our morning routines, essentially aborting what the Holy Spirit was communicating to us.

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