How Much Courage Does It Take to Live Your Dreams?

Recently I asked my Facebook community when in their life they’d been the most courageous. I was delighted and overwhelmed by the response this question elicited. What was surprising to me was that with the exception of just a few who wrote about physical feats, most people described pushing through emotional challenges, such as walking away from bad relationships, letting go of people and places, or jumping into the unknown to follow one’s heart. For many, it seems, this is far scarier and more rewarding than any other act of bravery.

A couple people turned the question around and asked me when I’d been the most courageous. As it turns out, I’m much better at asking questions than I am at answering them, which is probably a skill I cultivated as a schoolteacher. I was stumped. When had I been the most courageous? 

A number of possible responses danced in my head, but I couldn’t pinpoint a time when I’d truly put everything on the line. I began to make a mental checklist of some of the times in my life when my actions could be considered courageous. When I was 13, I went on my first Vision Quest and spent 24 hours alone in the woods. In 11th grade I left my friends and family in Seattle and headed to Vermont in the middle of winter to spend a semester living on a farm. And, at the age of 31, although I’d spent years and lots of money to attain academic degrees, I quit my teaching job with no plan other than wanting to follow my passion for cooking. That same year I started this blog, where for the first time in my life I began to share my thoughts and feelings openly.

Could one of these events be my most courageous? Hmm… It left me pondering. Leaving my teaching job was scary, but I knew that I had enough savings to get by at least for a little while. And, although I was nervous that I wouldn’t fit in at the farm school in Vermont, I was also extremely excited for this unique experience. 

I have a feeling that one of the reasons I’ve suddenly become fascinated by the notion of courage is that I’m pretty sure the next phase of my life is going to be amazing, but it’s going to take a lot of faith and strength to get there. These previous courageous acts were building blocks to prepare me for this very moment.

My most courageous act is yet to come. Next month the owners are putting of my home up for sale. For the past six years I’ve been working alongside my mom, but it’s time that I step out on my own. So, in the coming months I’m going to be moving to a yet undetermined location while simultaneously learning how to grow and flourish professionally as a solo entrepreneur.

While I know that my future will unfold in magical ways, and it will be just as it’s meant to be, I’m also freaking out quite a bit too. But, isn’t that what courage is all about? Tackling the things we know we need to do, even when it makes us sweat and our heart pound. We do this because we know that the pain of not doing it would be far worse.

When in your life have you been courageous? What was the result of stepping out of your comfort zone? How has your life changed as a result? What kind of courage will it take for you to realize your dreams? What will you need to do to bring your future into focus? What can you do today, no matter how small, to take that first step toward the tomorrow of your dreams?

Coconut Fudgy Oat Squares

(Gluten-Free, Dairy-Free, and Naturally Sweetened)

All of the food at The Mountain School, the farm school in Vermont I attended in 11th Grade, was delicious and nourishing. However, Marilyn’s (the head cook) Fudgy Oat Squares were legendary. Twenty years later, I can still remember their ooey gooey decadence. I’ve done my best to do them justice while making them gluten-free and dairy-free. And, I added some shredded coconut…just for fun.

This recipe makes a lot! Share them with friends and family (or freeze for later). Enjoy!

Makes 20 large squares

1 13.5-ounce can full-fat coconut milk
¼ cup honey
1½ cups coconut sugar
1 cup coconut oil, melted and cooled slightly
4 eggs at room-temperature
1½ tsp. vanilla
2 cups gluten-free all-purpose flour*
½ cup unsweetened shredded coconut
1 tsp. baking soda
½ tsp. salt
3 cups gluten-free old-fashioned rolled oats
1 12-ounce bag semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 tsp. vanilla
½ tsp. salt
1 cup chopped walnuts and/or pecans

*The blend I use contains brown rice flour, potato starch, and tapioca flour

Preheat oven to 350ºF. Grease a 15½ x 10 inch baking pan.

In a small pan over medium-high heat, bring the coconut milk to a boil. Reduce the heat to a simmer and whisk in the honey. Simmer for 40 minutes until slightly thickened, whisking occasionally. (You’re making sweetened condensed coconut milk.)

Meanwhile, in a large bowl, combine the coconut sugar, coconut oil, eggs, and vanilla. In a smaller bowl, mix the flour, shredded coconut, baking soda, and salt together. Pour the flour into the sugar mixture and stir to combine. Mix in the oats. Press 2/3 of the oat mixture into the bottom of the pan. If the mixture is too sticky, use damp fingers. The remaining l/3 of the oat mixture will be used to top the bars.

When the coconut milk and honey are finished simmering, remove from the heat and mix in the chocolate chips until fully combined. Stir in the vanilla and salt. Add the nuts and stir to combine. Spread the chocolate over the oat mixture in the pan. Drop the reserved oat mixture in small chunks onto the chocolate. Bake until golden, about 25 minutes. Cool completely before attempting to cut. Once the pan is cool enough to handle, you may want to refrigerate it for a few hours to get the fudge to set faster. Cut into squares and enjoy with childlike delight! 

Being Present

Recently I was a presenter at a seminar-at-sea on an Alaska cruise. While our ship traveled along the Inside Passage, past evergreen cliffs and snow-covered peaks, I spent a lot of time pondering the natural world and the importance of solitude. In my class I taught about taking time to be still and spending time in nature on a personal retreat. This type of retreat is often called a “quest” or “solo.”

Although a cruise ship with its casino, multiple bars, and jewelry stores doesn’t necessarily lend itself naturally to being a venue for a traditional quest, by taking time to breathe in the sea spray and allowing my heart and mind to relax, I feel as though I experienced a quest of sorts. While on the ship, I spent as much time as possible looking out to sea, walking the decks, and allowing the ocean breeze to tousle my hair, which opened my mind to new awareness and soothed the creases in my soul.

My mom photographing an eagle

One sunny afternoon, while standing on one of the lower decks, I calmed my mind to the point that the only thing I was thinking about was the vast expanse of water that filled my vision. Right then, a pod of dolphins appeared. Although they were likely chasing some fish, to me it appeared as though they were dancing. As I turned to see if others were also taking in this beautiful sight, I was surprised to discover that the man to the right of me, taking a deep drag on his cigarette, was caught up in his thoughts and didn’t seem to notice the dolphins. To the left of me, a couple emerged from inside the ship with a camera in hand. I assumed they’d seen the dolphins and had come out to take a photo; however, they proceeded to take a selfie with the ship’s deck as their background.

What I found remarkable wasn’t that the others didn’t seem to see the dolphins. Instead, what was noteworthy was that it made me realize how much magic surrounds us daily that we do not see because we’re focused on other things. It’s only when we’re fully present that our eyes soften, our heart opens, and we take in our surroundings. Seeing the frolicking dolphins reminded me of one of my favorite lines in St. Exupéry’s Little Prince: “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”

A calving glacier

In that moment, my heart was open and my mind was free to have this experience. It wasn’t that the dolphins were only there for me to see, or that I have a special ability to see what others do not. It was simply that in that moment, I was taking the time to look. It made me wonder how much majesty I’ve missed out on in my life when I’ve been myopically focused on a project or when my brain is too full to be fully present.

Have you ever gone for a walk with a toddler and taken the time to see the world through their eyes? Life goes at a much slower pace (a single block could take an hour). But, what did you see during that walk? What did you smell? Taste? Touch? Feel?

Life is so delicious. But, unfortunately, often in our frenetic modern world, we forget to take time to quiet our mind enough to savor our lives. It need not take a lot of time. Sometimes just a few minutes in nature doing absolutely nothing is all you need to quiet your mind, release stress, and maybe even see something you wouldn’t have seen otherwise. It’s not necessary to go on a quest or be on a cruise ship in Alaska to have meaningful experiences. All it takes is being present. Magic is everywhere.

Juneau at sunset

Decadent Dark Chocolate Cake with Chocolate “Buttercream” Frosting

Gluten-Free, Dairy-Free, Grain-Free, and Honey-Sweetened

Spending time alone in nature can help quiet the mind and soothe the soul. However, taking time to be fully present when you eat can be another powerful way to practice mindfulness. And, when you savor your food, you begin to savor your life even more fully. Have you ever reached for a second handful of M&Ms, for example, because you were so distracted when you ate the first handful that you didn’t really taste them? So often we down our food while thinking about a million other things. But when you take time to engage all your senses and relish each bite, you’ll actually enjoy your food more and, believe it or not, you’ll likely end up eating less. This chocolate cake is a perfect food for practicing being present. Take deep breathes. Notice how it smells, how it feels on your tongue, and how the different flavors intermingle.

Although I try not to have favorite recipes (they’re all my babies!), this cake is currently my newest favorite. I love how easy it is since everything gets thrown into the blender. I love how rich and decadent it is. And, I love that it uses cashews instead of flour! I’m really proud of this creation. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Store the frosted cake on the counter. If refrigerated it will become a little less moist.

Serves 10

10 oz. high-quality dark chocolate (I use 72%), melted and cooled slightly
¼ cup strong brewed coffee, room temperature*
5 large eggs
¾ cup mild honey
½ cup non-hydrogenated vegetable shortening (also called palm shortening)**
2 tsp. vanilla
1 cup raw cashews
2/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
¼ tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking soda

*If the coffee is hot, you’ll end up with scrambled eggs.
** I use Spectrum Organic. Make sure you get a brand that has an “orangutan-friendly” label. Most palm oil comes from Asia where orangutan habitat is rapidly being destroyed. Spectrum Organic, however, gets theirs from Colombia from small, sustainable farms.

Preheat the oven to 350ºF. Prepare a 9-inch springform pan. Place the pan on a piece of parchment paper and trace around the circumference with a pencil. Cut the parchment paper to the size of the pan. Grease the pan with vegetable shortening, both the bottom and the sides. Line the bottom of the pan with the parchment paper and then grease the top of the parchment paper.

Chop the chocolate and place it in a double boiler or in a heatproof bowl over barely simmering water, stirring occasionally. Once the chocolate is melted. Remove from the heat and allow to cool slightly.

Place all the remaining ingredients into a high-power blender in the order listed. Start on low power and slowly work up to high. Process on high until the mixture is smooth and well-aerated, about two minutes. Add the melted chocolate and process for another minute or so, until completely mixed. You may need to scrape down the sides of the blender a couple times if your blender doesn’t have a tamper.

Pour into the prepared pan and bake on the middle rack until an inserted toothpick comes out clean, about 25 minutes. If the outside appears to be cooking faster than the inside, reduce the heat to 325ºF. Cool on a rack until the pan is cool enough to touch. Remove the cake from the pan and cool completely before frosting.

Chocolate “Buttercream” Frosting

¾ cup non-hydrogenated vegetable shortening (also called palm shortening)*
2 tsp. vanilla
½ cup + 1 Tbsp. mild honey
1 Tbsp. strong brewed coffee
½ cup unsweetened cocoa powder

Whisk the vegetable shortening in a standing mixer on medium-high until soft (either the paddle or whisk attachment will work). Add the vanilla, honey, and coffee and mix on medium-low until fully combined. Add the cocoa powder and whisk on medium-low (or whatever speed will keep the cocoa from flying out of the bowl and all over you) until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes.

Two Simple Steps for More Powerful Love

Valentine’s Day has come and gone, but I learned a few things this year that I want to share.

From start to finish, my Valentine’s Day was magical, not because a man who looked like he stepped out of a magazine suddenly whisked me off on a romantic getaway, nor because I was showered with cards from friends and family near and far. No. It was amazing because I decided to make it amazing.

You might be familiar with the expression, “Unhappiness comes from unfilled expectations.” Hallmark, candy companies, flower merchants, social media, and a whole host of other entities have taught us to expect certain things on this one day and when those expectations aren’t met, it can be easy to let the little gremlins into your head. They wrap their knotty fingers around your heart and tell you you’re not worthy of love and they tickle your eyes with their onion spray to make you feel like you’ll always be alone. When expectations are unfulfilled it’s easy to downward spiral. Each thing in your life that might not live up to your ideal can become magnified in these moments.

But, it doesn’t have to be this way. Here’s my two-step process for creating a magical Valentine’s Day (or any other day).

My parents circa 1984 (My shirt says, "I love joy.")

1. Change Your Expectations

There are many ways to feel love, be loved, and spread love. Changing your expectations doesn’t mean lowering your standards or giving up on romance. It simply means shifting the way you imagine love should be demonstrated. Romance doesn’t have to happen just on February 14th, and it doesn’t have to be shown with a heart-shaped box of chocolates or a dozen red roses.

My parents have been married for forty years, and they have one of the best relationships I know. Valentine’s Day for them, however, is not a romantic holiday. Neither my mom nor my dad expects anything special for this day; instead they share their love in other ways each and every day. Since my mom works long hours writing and teaching, my dad makes dinner most nights. And even when my mom is on a tight deadline, she always sets aside time in the evenings just for the two of them. 

2. Create Your Own Joy

If you’re in a relationship and Valentine’s Day is important to you, tell your partner. Unless you let him/her know that you might like to receive flowers or go out for an elegant meal, he/she may not know. Or, if Valentine’s Day just isn’t your partner’s thing, rather than hoping that one day this will change, and then resenting him/her when it doesn’t, instead create the romance you desire for yourself. This is also a great thing to do if you’re single, like I am.

My Valentine's Day flowers

Treat yourself to a special day. This can be done on Valentine’s Day, but you might also consider doing it at other times as well. When you cherish yourself this creates a ripple effect, and there will be increased magic in all areas of your life.

A great way to feel love is to spread love. The more love you share, the more you will feel. However, in order to do this effectively, it’s important to do so without expectations of how, when, or if the love you send out into the world will be returned. Do it simply because it makes you feel good to sprinkle love, not because you’re subconsciously hoping it will boomerang back to you. I’ve tried that, and it only leads to more gremlins. 

On Valentine’s Day I bought myself a beautiful bouquet of tuberose and orange and yellow spray roses. Their perfume filled my entire house and every time I looked at them, I was filled with such joy. For dinner, I made myself steamed lobster claws with aioli, and I opened a bottle of French wine I’d been saving. And, of course, I finished off the evening with a bit of chocolate. It was a beautiful day from start to finish because I made it that way.

You are the most important person you’ll spend your entire life with. Treat yourself with love and kindness. Fill your home with flowers, draw yourself a warm bath, and make candlelit dinners. Rather than lamenting unfulfilled expectations, change your expectations or find ways to meet your expectations on your own. Here’s to abounding love!

Love Spell Brownies

(Gluten and Dairy Free)

To feel immense love for yourself and your life, make this decadent special treat with the intention that love is flowing to you, through you, and from you.

Makes 16 brownies

2/3 cup coconut oil
1¼ cup sugar
1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
¼ tsp. salt
2 tsp. vanilla extract
3 eggs
1 cup all-purpose gluten-free flour*
½ cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
2/3 cup chopped walnuts (optional)

*My favorite is a blend of brown rice flour, tapioca flour, and potato starch.

Preheat the oven to 325ºF. Prepare a 9x9 inch pan by lining it with parchment paper or aluminum foil, leaving an overhang on two opposite sides.

Combine the coconut oil, sugar, cocoa powder, and salt in a double-boiler or in a heatproof bowl set over barely simmering water. Stir frequently until the coconut oil is melted and the mixture is smooth-ish (the sugar won't melt completely). It will be quite hot. Remove from the heat and set aside until just warm.

While stirring, fill the pot with love. I like to imagine my heart as a red, pulsating light that expands with each turn of my wrist. I picture the shimmering light flowing from my heart and swirling into the pot. You may even want to visualize those who eat the brownies being filled with love and joy while experiencing increased magic in their lives.

When the mixture is warm—not hot—stir in the vanilla. Add the eggs one at a time and stir vigorously with the intention that the brownies are filled with the energy of love-filled new beginnings. When the batter is thick and shiny, mix in the flour and stir until very well blended. Mix in the chocolate chips and walnuts (if using). Pour into the prepared pan and spread it evenly into all the corners. Bake until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out with just a bit of moist batter, about 25 minutes.

Cool completely on a rack before removing from the pan and cutting into squares.

What Is So Today... May Not Be So Tomorrow

Life is not static. For better or worse, nothing stays the same forever. Heraclitus famously said, “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.”

You are not stuck in your current situation. What today might seem unbearable can tomorrow be the very thing that propels you forward into the life of your dreams, for tomorrow you are not the same as you are today, because each experience, whether good or bad, brings wisdom, understanding, and perspective.

This has certainly been the case for me with my illness. When I was in bed for months with whooping cough, I could not imagine ever having energy again to do the things I love. But now that I’m fully recovered, my life feels fuller than ever before. Even though it was difficult to see when I was in the throes of it, I now recognize that the disease was a powerful catalyst. 

Things change. What is true today may not be true tomorrow.

When we’re in pain or when we’re feeling sad, lonely, hurt, frustrated, worn out, burnt out, or any of the many other possible emotions that come with the ebbs and flows of life, it can be nearly impossible to imagine anything different. For example, a number of years ago when I had constant back pain that resulted in sciatica, I could not picture a day when I’d be able to comfortably ride in a car or bend over to pick something up off the floor. I figured this was the life I was stuck with. Although I still have to be careful, I can now do activities that I would have never dreamed possible back then. And, when I was diagnosed with gluten intolerance, I lamented that I’d never again be able to go to a sushi bar without lugging a bottle of gluten-free tamari in my purse. Little did I know that just a few years hence, Kikkoman would start making gluten-free soy sauce, which would be available in many Japanese restaurants. Anguish, whether it’s from something seemingly small or the deepest pain imaginable, does not last forever. Even after immense tragedy or unbearable heartbreak, somehow we find a way to keep going.

If you were to look at the life stories of the people that as a society we deem to be successful, many of them did not come upon their success without some form of struggle along the way. This doesn’t mean that struggle is necessary for growth, but it does show that what is isn’t always what was.

Over the years I’ve had many bouts of worry about my future as it pertains to relationships, finances, and career; however, I also know this to be true: Life has a way of working itself out. Having been single for a long time, despite all my talk of wanting to fall in love and have a family, sometimes I have difficulty imagining any scenario other than the one where I continue to live alone with my dog, cats, and chickens, because at the moment, this is all I know. But, the truth is…things change, and life works out as it’s meant to, even if it doesn’t follow the timeline that we expect. Sometimes life can change very fast. It only takes one phone call, one piece of mail, or one seemingly random encounter to forever alter the course of your life.

Are you in a difficult situation? Do you find yourself feeling as though you simply have to accept your lot in life, no matter how much it feels like drudgery? Are you frustrated? Do you feel a lack of freedom? If so, I want you to know that everything is going to be okay. We often hear that bad things can happen in an instant, but good things can happen in an instant too. We simply have to be open to the unexpected and willing to allow magic to unfold. When you next step into that river, you’ll discover that, indeed, you are not the same, nor is the river the same. Here’s to tomorrow!

Magic Double-Chocolate Pudding

(Dairy-Free and Honey-Sweetened)

After I was diagnosed with gluten and dairy intolerance, tears would smart at my eyes while I looked longingly at the recipes in my favorite cookbooks that I would never again be able to taste. Mostly, I resented the lack of freedom. But, just as with anything, things change. Now, nearly four years hence, I’ve come to embrace this new identity and revel in new flavors and textures. I now have the freedom to experiment with ingredients I would never have considered previously. Plus, having my own dietary restrictions has increased my empathy for others facing similar situations. And, the most exciting part is that I’ve discovered new ways of making old favorites that not only taste better than their original counterparts, but also support me in my journey to optimal health and wellness.

Okay, so, pudding is not exactly “health food,” but for those special occasions when you want a little treat, this really hits the spot.

The first time I served this pudding at an event I was catering, it was received with oohs and awes and lots of “Oh. My. Go-ods.” 

There is a secret ingredient that made all the difference...

I held my hands over the bubbling pot and imagined love flowing from my heart, through my hands, and into the pot. And then, à la Chocolat (The novel by Joanne Harris made into a movie with Johnny Depp), I said an incantation that all who ate the pudding would be filled with love. 


Serves 6

¾ cup + 2 Tbsp. unsweetened cocoa powder
2 Tbsp. arrowroot
¼ tsp. artisanal salt, such as French grey or Himalayan pink
1 13.5 oz. can full-fat coconut milk (I use Natural Value)
1/3 cup brewed strong coffee
2/3 cup water
1/3 cup mild honey, such as clover
½ cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
2 tsp. vanilla

In a medium pot, whisk the cocoa powder, arrowroot, and salt. Slowly whisk in the coconut milk, coffee, and water until full combined. Stir in the honey.

Heat the chocolate mixture on medium heat, stirring frequently, until a gentle boil is reached, approximately 15-20 minutes. While whisking, imagine love flowing from your heart and into the pot. As you stir, say (and mean it):

With this food we dine
Greater love thus does shine,
As I work this magic spell
Into deeper love we dwell,
I invoke the Law of Love
Calling greater light from above

(Incantation from The Mystic Cookbook: The Secret Alchemy of Food, Hay House, 2012, Denise and Meadow Linn, p. 49)

Once a gentle boil is reached, whisk constantly until the pudding begins to thicken, about a minute. It should be approximately the consistency of pancake batter. Remove from the heat and whisk in the chocolate chips and vanilla.

Divide evenly among six small dessert dishes. Chill until set, at least 3 hours. Top with fresh raspberries or strawberries. Enjoy!

 

Spread Kindness

I heard a knock on my front door this morning and saw a friendly face peeking through the window. It was my mom, bearing a huge smile and a beautiful orchid. She surprised me just to say, “I love you!”

While drinking my morning tea, I’d mentioned to my mom on the phone that I was feeling overwhelmed. I’ve been really excited for all the transition and transformation that seems to be afoot this year, but sometimes the weight of it can get pretty heavy. New ventures can be exciting, but sometimes during the buildup, it can feel a bit like riding a pendulum that swings back and forth between euphoria and despair.

As I sipped my earl grey, worries about money, career, love, and health all seemed to compound. At the very moment that I was feeling the most alone, there was my mom to offer a hug and a simple, “I love you.”

The fact she stopped what she was doing and came to see me made all the difference. Being kind doesn’t have to take a lot of time, energy, or money, but it can change the course of someone’s day (or even life). Sometimes spending two extra minutes on the phone to find out how someone is doing is all it takes. Or, it can be a genuine smile when you pass a stranger on the street or a nod of sympathy when you see a new mother struggling with a screaming baby in public.

Last weekend I got a taco at my favorite takeout place. The family in front of me was twenty-five cents short when their bill was rung up. The cashier plunged her hand into the tip jar and pulled out a quarter. The look of relief on the parents’ faces was palpable. No doubt the missing quarter from the tip jar will be replenished ten-fold as a result of this kind gesture.

Almost always, when we perform a random act of kindness, it boomerangs back to us. What we put out into the world is reflected back like an image in a mirror. However, this only happens when it’s a true act of kindness. Being nice because you believe the Universe will reward you carries a very different energy than spreading joy and love because that’s what’s in your heart.

Last week, completely out of the blue, FedEx pulled up in front of my house. The driver hopped out and handed me a green cardboard box. I couldn’t imagine what it was or whom it was from. As soon as he drove away, I tore into the box and found a vase full of flowers and a note that said: “May your day be bursting with JOY! Watch the flowers bloom as your life continues to bloom! It’s going to be a spectacular year!!!” My friend Aimee, all the way across the country, had no idea that I’d been feeling overwhelmed by the uncertainty of my future; yet, she seemed to know exactly what to say and when to say it.

The flowers I received in the mail

Aimee’s gift of love will come back to her in the most miraculous ways; this I know. When you give genuinely, without strings attached, and you spread kindness, the world suddenly becomes a kinder, more loving, and more generous place.

Just thinking about this act of kindness fills me with warmth and brings tears of joy. The unexpected gift provided love and support at that exact moment I needed it. I realized that if Aimee believes in me, then I have to believe in me too. And, that is powerful. It’s nearly impossible to succeed if your biggest critic lives inside of you.

What can you do today to spread more joy, love, and kindness? What steps can you take to be a better friend, a more sympathetic girl/boyfriend, or a kinder person? Maybe you buy coffee for the person behind you at the drive-thru or maybe you decide to let the guy with only three items in his cart go in front of you at the supermarket. Perhaps you call a relative to say, “I love you,” or maybe you make a delicious meal for your spouse instead of barraging him/her with problems the moment you get home from work. Whatever you can do to be more kind, do it now.

Kindness Cupcakes

(Gluten-Free and Dairy-Free)

One of my favorite pastimes is cooking for friends and family. When I was a schoolteacher I loved leaving homemade treats in the faculty room to brighten the day of my colleagues. Imagine the joy of the woman sitting at the cubicle next to yours if you were to put one of these cupcakes onto her desk with a little note that said, “Have a delicious day!” or the look of delight on the child’s face who comes to your kid’s birthday party who can’t usually eat the cake because he’s gluten intolerant.

Brown rice flour tends to have a gritty texture in baked goods; however, I recently learned that if you mix it with liquid and cook it first, the final product is much smoother. What a revelation! This recipe calls for melted coconut oil because the measurements are more consistent. It can easily be melted in a small pan on low heat. Likely, there will be more frosting than you’ll need. It will keep up to a week in the fridge, in an airtight container. To use, warm it in a double-boiler or in a bowl over barely simmering water. Use it as a dip for strawberries…Yum!

Makes 1 dozen cupcakes

Vanilla Cupcakes
1 cup canned coconut milk (from 13.5 oz can, reserve the rest for the frosting)
1 cup brown rice flour
¼ cup potato starch (not flour)
2 Tbsp. tapioca flour
½ tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. baking powder
½ tsp. xanthan gum
½ tsp. salt
2 large eggs
½ cup sugar
1½ tsp. vanilla extract
1/3 cup melted coconut oil
1 Tbsp. lemon juice

Preheat oven to 350ºF and position rack in center of oven. Line a cupcake pan with cupcake liners. Set aside.

Combine the brown rice flour and coconut milk in a small pan over medium heat. Cook, stirring frequently, until a smooth porridge is formed and the brown rice flour is no longer gritty. Cool slightly.

Meanwhile, in a small bowl, combine the potato starch, tapioca flour, baking soda, baking powder, xanthan gum, and salt. Set aside.

In a medium bowl, whisk the eggs with the sugar and vanilla. Add the cooled porridge mixture and melted coconut oil. Whisk until smooth. Mix in the lemon juice. Add the blend of starches, and mix to combine. Pour the batter into the prepared pan.  

Bake 20 minutes or until an inserted toothpick comes out clean. Cool on a rack until the pan can be touched safely. Remove cupcakes from the pan and cool to room temperature before frosting them.

Ganache frosting
12 oz. semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 Tbsp. melted coconut oil
1 tsp. vanilla
½ cup coconut milk (use what’s left of the 13.5 oz. can)

Combine the chocolate chips and coconut oil in a double boiler (or small heatproof bowl) over barely simmering water. Stir until smooth. Remove from the heat and whisk in the coconut milk and vanilla.

To frost the cupcakes: You can either dip them in the warm ganache with a bit of a twirling motion. Or, cool the ganache until it has the texture of frosting and spread it with a small spatula or butter knife.

 

Follow Your Passion and Live YOUR Life

I was 23 years old when I started teaching French at a small boarding school in Maine. Just three days after submitting my master’s thesis in Paris I was settled into a small, white clapboard, steps away from a salt marsh on the New England coastline.

Although I had a bachelor’s degree in French literature and was about to receive a master’s in French Cultural Studies, other than playing school as a child and tutoring English in Paris, I’d had very little teaching experience. Up until that moment, I’d always been the student. But, within days, the tables had turned, and suddenly I was the one standing at the whiteboard and reading from highlighted passages in well-worn books.

Teaching French in Los Angeles

This adventure turned into an eight-year journey. After three years in Maine, I was offered an opportunity to work at a school in Switzerland that I couldn’t refuse. From there, I headed to Los Angeles where I spent four years teaching elementary and middle school aged children in the Santa Monica Mountains.

I stumbled into teaching. The job in Maine presented itself at just the right time, and it fit me well at the time. Being a schoolteacher, however, had never been my dream. But, it turned out I was pretty good at it, so I kept going.

Although I enjoyed teaching French, my passion has always been food. From the time I was a young child, I’ve been most at home in the kitchen. I’ve had my own set of measuring cups and spoons ever since I can remember. And, on a trip to London when I was eight years old, instead of visiting Madame Tussaud’s, I made canapés for Lord Snowden with a chef friend of my mom’s.

After years of spending my 45-minute commute planning dinner menus rather than the lessons I would teach, I realized that perhaps my soul was yearning to be fed and nurtured in a different way.

Making dinner with a neighbor when I was about five years old

Steve Jobs famously said, “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” Although being a schoolteacher brought me joy, it wasn’t my life. And so, after much discussion, some tears, and many lists of pros and cons, I finally took the plunge and quit my job.

I left at the height of the economic downturn. When people asked if I was scared, I smiled and said that I was looking forward to the adventure, but underneath I was freaking out. What the heck was I doing?! Was I crazy?!

The question “what if” finally propelled me to take the leap. I didn’t want to reach the end of my life and wonder what my life could have been had I followed my heart.

Giving up comfort, security, and a steady paycheck is friggin scary. I’ve watched my bank account steadily decline, I’ve paid an arm-and-a-leg for health insurance, and I’ve pretty much given up vacations. I no longer have weekends to myself, and summer break is a thing of the past. But, I’m passionate about what I’m doing, and most days I don’t even realize I’m working.

Giving a keynote last year to 2,000 people about following my passion

Since Field of Dreams was frequently in our VCR when I was a kid, “If you build it, they will come” is a phrase that often resounds in my head. When you do what you love and live authentically, it’s impossible not to succeed, even if it’s hard. Perhaps you won’t get rich or be able to afford luxuries (and maybe you will), but you’ll be living your life, and that is powerful.

To be honest, there are days when I wish I still had the security of teaching; yet, I wouldn’t in a million years give up what I’ve learned, experienced, and gained over the past four years of charting my own course, even though some days I’ve collapsed in tears and others I’ve fallen into bed weary and exhausted.

Here’s to living your life and following your heart, no matter what that might be! It might not always be easy, but in the end, it’s worth it. Timing is important. When the time is right, there will be magic and synchronicity.

Here’s to following your passion and living your bliss!   

*Strict vegans do not eat honey

Chocolate Passion Pudding Pops

(Dairy-Free, Gluten-Free, Honey-Sweetened)

Remember the Jell-O® Pudding Pops touted by Bill Cosby in the 1980s? This is a more natural, and dare I say, more delicious version. These ice pops were born out of my passion for creating and experimenting in the kitchen; however, you can use them to give rise to your own heart’s desire. While you whisk and stir, think about what most fills your heart with joy and feeds your soul. Imagine your passions flowing into the pudding and swirling like an energy vortex as you stir.

Makes 6 pops (3 ounces each)

1 Ice pop mold and 6 ice pop sticks
½ cup unsweetened cocoa powder

2 tsp. arrowroot powder*

¼ tsp. sea salt

 1 13.5-oz. can full-fat coconut milk

                                                                    ¼ cup honey

                                                                    1½ tsp. vanilla

In a small pot, whisk the cocoa powder, arrowroot powder, and sea salt. Slowly whisk in the coconut milk until full combined. Stir in the honey.

Heat the chocolate mixture on medium heat, stirring frequently, until a gentle boil is reached. Then, whisk constantly until the pudding begins to thicken, about a minute. It should be approximately the consistency of pancake batter. Remove from the heat and mix in the vanilla. Cool to room temperature.

Fill the ice pop mold and position the ice pop sticks. Freeze until hard. Run warm water over the mold for a few seconds to loosen the pops. Enjoy!

*Substituting cornstarch is not recommended. When frozen, cornstarch has an undesirable texture.

Anticipation ~ Builder of Stress and Heightener of Pleasure

I’m a screamer. I scream on amusement park rides, at haunted houses, and whenever I’m startled. And I don’t mean a little yelp from time to time. No way. When I scream it’s a full on pop-my-eyes-out-of-my-head-show-my-tonsils shriek.

This kind of screaming expels stress and can even increase joy.

This is me on the uphill of Splash Mountain: "Oh no oh no!"

Anyone who has ever been on a rollercoaster with me will tell you that I will scream until I’m blue in the face. But, what they don’t know is that the uphill section is often the scariest part for me. Going up in a rollercoaster, I hold my breath, clench my jaw, and repeat over and over again, “oh no oh no oh no!” That’s when my muscles are the tensest and I feel my heart beat the fastest. After so much buildup, screaming on the downhill is a cathartic release and actually…it’s pretty fun.

As the rollercoaster arrives safely at the bottom and eventually comes to a complete stop, that’s when I relax and begin to laugh and joyfully exclaim how exciting it was.

After a recent family trip to Disneyland where I most likely burst the eardrums of aunts, uncles, and cousins, as well as those of a few passersby, I began to think about why we scream and what it is about the uphill that can be so much scarier than the downhill, which for all intents-and-purposes is the scary part, the thrill of the ride. In my pondering, I began to realize how much life resembles an amusement park ride with its ups and downs. Both in life and on a rollercoaster, there’s often a buildup before any potentially stressful or emotionally charged event. However, in life, unfortunately, there often isn’t the opportunity for a cathartic release as there is in the downhill drop of the rollercoaster with the ensuing scream. Perhaps these types of rides are so popular not only because they can be exhilarating, but also because they provide us with a chance to exorcise stress, worry, anxiety, and fear from our bodies in a lighthearted and entertaining way.

And here I am on the downhill: "Aaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!"

Whether it’s the anticipation of something scary, sad, overwhelming, or even exciting, sometimes all the energy goes into the prologue that when the main act arrives, it blows over with little incident. Do you remember the scene in Lewis Carroll’s Through the Looking Glass when the White Queen makes a big fuss about a pinprick that hasn’t yet happened? Once she pokes herself and the blood trickles down her finger, she’s rather nonchalant about the ordeal. She calls it “remembering backwards,” but I think of it more as “anticipation anxiety.”

Just like during the uphill of a rollercoaster, sometimes I have a tendency to build things up in my mind. This, however, can occasionally work to my advantage. For instance, I was so concerned that I wouldn’t be able to finish my master’s thesis on time that I ended up completing it two weeks early. In this case, the anticipation of potentially not succeeding was a useful tool because it kicked my work into high gear. Other times, anticipation can assuage intense emotion. When I was 12 my mom began fretting about the day I would leave home and go to college. With the mere mention of my future departure, she would get teary-eyed. However, when my parents did finally drop me off in a small town in the Berkshires six years later, it was actually my dad who was more emotional. My mom, on the other hand, was like the White Queen with the pinprick.

Although sometimes the side effect of buildup is that the actual event is rendered uneventful—as in the case of the White Queen—anticipation can also heighten our stress or our enjoyment. Often what we're afraid of isn't nearly as bad as we make it out to be in our minds. Sometimes it’s the expectation that an event will be a certain way that wrecks havoc on our wellbeing, not the event itself. For instance, I had some medical tests done recently. Worry pulsed through my veins, but then I realized that until I had the results, concern wouldn’t be productive. So, I relaxed until I knew for sure. And, luckily, the test results came back normal. On the other hand, when I anticipate a great meal rather than eating mindlessly all day, I enjoy it immensely more.

Whether you: 1) remember backwards, 2) remind yourself to wait until there’s something actually worthy of your concern, or 3) scream like hell, here's to releasing worries, fears, and stresses and having fun in the process!

Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookies

(gluten-free, dairy-free, and naturally sweetened)

What if rollercoasters were all downhill with none of the uphill? Would we react the same way? Sometimes anticipation is necessary to building excitement. Waiting for these cookies to bake and smelling their heavenly aroma makes that first bite—of warm chocolate mixed with crunchy nuts and chewy oats—even more decadent.

Ever since going gluten free, I’ve been craving a cookie with a cookie-like texture. Many GF cookies are crumbly or overly soft, but these (in my opinion) are perfect. Plus, they have lots of good things in them. Coconut flour is full of fiber and almond meal is packed with protein.

Before starting, make sure all ingredients are at room temperature.

Makes about 2 dozen

1¼ cup almond meal
½ cup coconut flour
½ tsp. baking soda
½ tsp. salt
2/3 cup melted coconut oil
¾ cup maple syrup
3 lg. eggs + 1 yolk
1½ tsp. vanilla extract
¼ cup unsweetened shredded coconut
¼ cup rolled oats
½ cup chopped walnuts
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 350ºF. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper. Melt coconut oil over low heat on the stove.

In a medium bowl combine the almond meal, coconut flour, baking soda, and salt. Set aside. In the bowl of a standing mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, blend the melted coconut oil and maple syrup on medium until an emulsion begins to form (I usually have to stick my finger in it to taste it at this point!). Slowly add the eggs and vanilla until fully combined. With the mixer on medium-low, mix in the flour blend. If the dough feels too moist, no fear, coconut flour soaks up lots of liquid. In a few minutes it will begin to firm up. Stir in the shredded coconut, oats, walnuts, and chocolate chips by hand. Use a soupspoon to scoop balls of dough the size of a large ping-pong ball. Roll the dough in your palms and then gently flatten on the baking sheet into a round disc. These cookies will not spread much in the oven, so form them to your liking before baking them. Bake approximately 18 minutes, or until golden. Remove and cool on the baking sheet for a few minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.

Be the Architect of Your Feelings

Do you know people who always seem to have bad things happen to them, or people who always seem to have good things happen to them? Some of this is luck or chance; some of it they’ve earned or created; and some of it depends on how they respond to the events in their lives. Two people can be at the same place at the same time and have completely different experiences. For instance, imagine you’re seeing a beautiful sunset and while you’re reveling in Mother Nature’s majesty, you hear someone next to you grumbling about pollution creating the vibrant colors. You’re both viewing the same sunset, though your experience of it will be dramatically different.

Sunset in Santa Monica during a wildfire

Sometimes when we look back on our lives we can see how an event that didn’t seem right at the time was a necessary steppingstone to bring us to where we are now, but often we don’t have to wait for hindsight. In the moment, we can choose how we frame an event. Believe it or not, we create the narrative that accompanies each and every moment. Did he actually glare at you? Or was the sun in his eyes, perhaps? You choose.

Many of the things that hurt us are neither good nor bad; it’s the way we react to them that can wreck emotional havoc.

In December a longtime friend told me she was getting married in a park near where we grew up. What joy! Like me, she spent much of her twenties looking for love. Seeing her in her wedding gown, flowers in hand, grinning from ear to ear was a moment I didn’t want to miss. However, a few months later, I learned that I hadn’t been invited to the wedding after all. As the color drained from my cheeks, I tried not to show my disappointment. I realized, however, that I could either react in a way that brought me joy or brought me pain. What story would I write? Would it be the one where it was a personal slight or would it be the one where the bride limited invitations to keep the wedding small and intimate?

Just by chance, the weekend of the wedding, a close high school friend came to visit. We spent hours laughing, collecting treasures at the beach, and reminiscing about times gone by. This is when hindsight is valuable. If I’d been at the wedding that weekend, I wouldn’t have had this other wonderful experience. Often life has a way of balancing out.

Watching wild zebras at Hearst Ranch with the dear friend who was visiting

The challenge is that no matter how much we know that we’re the architects of our reality, it’s not always easy to choose the narrative that most uplifts us. Hurt, jealousy, and disappointment sometime swoop in and take us unawares before we even have a chance to react rationally, in a way that supports us in joy and happiness. However, like anything, the more we practice the better we become.

A few years ago I decided to make a conscious effort to change my reaction to a situation. I was driving over speed limit in the left lane of the freeway, but apparently it wasn’t fast enough for a man in a red sports car. He passed me on the right while flipping me off. Normally, this would hurt my feelings. But, instead I laughed when I realized that although he was worked up, I didn’t have to be. It was his problem, not mine. This was a turning point for me.

As a suggestion, spend today noticing how you respond to situations. If at any point you notice your energy going down, try changing your reaction. If you’re having trouble releasing your charge, try finding a silver lining. This often helps me. Imagine that it’s a few days or years hence, and you’re looking back. Ask yourself, “If there were a silver lining to that event, what would it be?” If you can’t think of something, make it up.

Silver Lining Chocolate Zucchini Bread

(Gluten-Free, Dairy-Free, and Naturally Sweetened)

It took me an entire day to make the first test batch of this bread, and I had to make two trips to the grocery store because the first bag of chocolate chips melted in my hot kitchen. It was finally time to take it out of the oven; it looked beautiful. But when I went to tip it onto the rack, half the bread stuck to the bottom of the pan. I was so disappointed. However, there was a silver lining. If this hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have known that it was a possibility and wouldn’t have been able to amend the recipe so it wouldn’t happen to anyone else. So, with the addition of parchment paper and an extra egg (to make the bread less crumbly), I was able to remedy the situation and create even better zucchini bread! I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Makes 1 deliciously decadent loaf

1 lb. zucchini, grated (about 3 cups)
½ cup almond milk
1 Tbsp. lemon juice
1¾ cup brown rice flour (plus more for dusting the pan)
1/3 cup potato starch (not flour)
¼ cup tapioca flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
½ tsp. sea salt
½ cup coconut oil, melted (plus more for greasing the pan)
3 large eggs
¾ cup maple syrup
12 oz. semi-sweet chocolate chips
Parchment paper

*Make sure all ingredients are room temperature. Otherwise, the coconut oil will solidify, and it will not bake evenly, affecting the texture of the zucchini bread.


Adjust an oven rack to the middle position and preheat oven to 350ºF.

Prepare a 9x5 inch loaf pan. Grease the bottom and sides of the pan with coconut oil. Line the bottom of the pan with parchment paper: with a pencil trace the bottom of the pan on a sheet of parchment paper, then cut it out and place inside the loaf pan. Grease the parchment paper. Dust the pan with brown rice flour and tap out excess.

Grate the zucchini either with a box grater or a food processor fitted with a grating disc. Set aside. Measure the almond milk and mix in the lemon juice. Set aside to curdle. Over low heat melt the coconut oil.

In a large bowl, combine the brown rice flour, potato starch, tapioca flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. In a small bowl, whisk the melted coconut oil, eggs, and maple syrup together.

To remove the excess liquid from the zucchini, place it on a clean dishtowel, pull the sides up around it and squeeze. Once the majority of the liquid has been removed, mix the zucchini into the liquid ingredients.

Stir the liquid ingredients into the dry ingredients. Once fully incorporated, mix in the chocolate chips and pour the batter into the prepared loaf pan. Bake on the middle rack of the oven until an inserted toothpick comes out clean, about an hour and 20 minutes.

Cool in the pan for 10 minutes. Then turn out onto a rack and continue to cool for an hour.