Life Doesn’t Always Stick to “the Plan”

Life doesn’t always go according to plan. Sometimes it’s small things that derail the course of the day, and sometimes it’s major events that forever change our trajectory.

This morning, for instance, I planned to take a shower. Instead, after a very cold attempt, I spent an hour on my hands and knees in my bathrobe trying to light the hot water heater pilot. My intention had been to have a productive day in the office, but the Universe decided to throw me a curveball and test my ability to roll with the punches.

Often it’s our flexibility and willingness to go with the flow that allows for even more magic than we could ever dream. We just have to be willing to open our heart to this possibility, rather than doggedly sticking to “the plan.” While working in my garden last week, I took a photo of a flower, which turned out to be a rather boring picture. However, upon closer inspection, I discovered a small aphid on one of the petals. Although it hadn’t been part of my intended composition, this happy accident actually improved the image.

Sometimes, however, a thwarted plan can be even more challenging to deal with than the event itself. For instance, not being able to shower and having to fiddle with the hot water heater was actually less vexing than not being able to get office work done. This is heightened when you stumble upon something that’s so big that it not only changes the plan, but also necessitates a complete reevaluation of your sense of self and where you’re heading in life.

Big life events that can throw a herculean wrench in “the plan” are things like termination, divorce, and illness. Losing your job may require you to discover who you are separate from your vocation. Ending a union can be one of the worst pains there is, but coming to terms with not having “happily ever after” can sometimes be even harder. And for others, like me, it’s not so much about unexpected endings, but rather it’s about beginnings that never seem to materialize.

For as long as I can remember I’ve had a vision of my life that included a big country kitchen in an old yellow farmhouse filled with children. In third grade when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said, “a mother.” While I still have a few childbearing years ahead of me, I’ve also hit a point in my life when it’s time to accept the reality that likely my life will not exactly follow the plan I’ve envisioned for so long. I’m not quite ready to let it go, but I know the time is nigh. Whatever comes to fruition won’t necessarily be better or worse, but it certainly will be different.

The seeming holes in our lives oblige us to accept a different version of ourselves and if we do, that’s where magic resides. If we don’t, not living in alignment with who we think we are can be extremely painful. When we release our hold on “the plan,” we begin to see the majesty of the insect on the flower and the other wonders waiting to be discovered. This will result in more enjoyment and less disappointment.

In what ways has your life gone according to plan? In what ways has your life deviated from your expectations?

The first step is accepting what is, even if it’s at odds with how you see yourself. An adjustment or grieving period is completely normal and can even be part of the healing process. Then, be willing to open the door to whatever comes your way. When your heart is open, who knows what magic will unfold!

Pink Grapefruit Margarita

When life doesn’t go according to plan, often the best route is being open to possibility of going in a new direction. However, there can be value in first taking time to mourn the loss. In these moments, sometimes it’s nice to have a fun cocktail in hand!

When testing this recipe, I thought that perhaps it was a tad too sweet, but my neighbor thought that it could be a bit too tart. So, we concluded that our differing views meant that it was just right. Since pink grapefruit is sweeter than lime juice, which is traditionally used in margaritas, the dash of cider vinegar helps to round out the flavors and add another layer of complexity.



Makes 4 small drinks

1½ cups fresh pink grapefruit juice (from 2 grapefruits)
½ cup white tequila
½ cup triple sec
1 Tbsp. raw apple cider vinegar

Himalayan pink salt
ice

Use a zester to make strips of grapefruit peel to float in the drinks. Squeeze the grapefruit juice and then pass through a sieve to remove the pulp. Combine the grapefruit juice, tequila, triple sec, and cider vinegar in a small pitcher. Use the pink salt to rim the glasses. Serve on the rocks. Cheers!

Welcome, Dear New Year!

“Don’t tell anyone or your wish won’t come true.” Have you ever heard this saying?


When I was a young child, every chance I got—birthday candles, shooting stars, and wishing wells—I wished for cherry pie. I never told anyone because I wanted my wish to come true. It was, however, only when I finally fessed up, that I got the cherry pie.

Making my wish for cherry pie

Here’s another confession: I keep a list of potential baby names in a drawer next to my bed, and sometimes when I can’t fall asleep, I plan my wedding. This used to be a secret—a guilty pleasure that I kept to myself—since I’m neither dating nor expecting. I’m learning, however, that the more I share my dreams, even the embarrassing little secrets like these, the more support I get.

As we transition into the New Year, I plan to take more ownership of my dreams, rather than hide them away in a drawer. I want to proudly announce to the world, “This is who I am and this is what I desire,” but at the same time, I want to try to detach from the idea that there’s just one possible version of my life. Dreams can manifest in a myriad of ways. If we’re honest and forthright about what we want, others can’t help but assist us in making our dreams come true. Some things—like the list of baby names—I’ve preferred to keep to myself because I didn’t want to be laughed at or pitied. But, I’m slowly learning that when something brings you joy and when you tell people about it with confidence, they don’t pity or laugh at you.

The New Year is a time for reflection and anticipation of things to come. I’ve been enjoying how different I feel this time around. No more longing. Just contentment. This past summer, I had a meltdown. I was pretty sure that I’d never have the things I desire most. The good thing that came from this, however, was that I realized I’d have to be willing to let my dreams happen in different ways. Rather than doggedly looking for Mr. Right and a storybook romance, followed by a beautiful wedding in wine country, and then a healthy baby, I began to consider other alternatives and different routes to that imagined future.

Additionally, I decided to release my concern for what people would think if I did things a bit differently. It turns out I actually care a lot more about how I appear to others than they care about how I appear to them. I also worried what my conservative grandparents would think if I decided to have a baby on my own. But the truth is, although it might not be their first choice, they’d end up loving the baby.

One of the locations where I've pictured my future wedding

The more I’ve released my firm grip on having my life be a certain way, and the more I’ve been willing to own my secrets and share them with the world, the more content I’ve become. Ever since my midsummer meltdown, I’ve felt more at peace than I have in years. Despite previous attempts, this is the first time it truly feels as though I’ve surrendered to whatever path my life will take. I do still occasionally peek at the list of baby names and imagine dancing by moonlight at my wedding reception, but now it’s more of a before-bed activity much like reading or doing a crossword, rather than a longing pulling at my heart.

As we enter 2012, I’m of course still hoping that this will be the year I fall in love with my forever man, but it doesn’t feel like a necessity. And rather than thinking about giving birth to a real baby, I’m much more focused on my other baby—my cookbook that will be published this year.

What wishes have you been keeping to yourself? What are your dreams, desires, and longings? In what ways can you share them with others? What steps can you take to manifest your dreams—or perhaps some unforeseen version of them—in the New Year?

I wish you the most splendid start to 2012. May this New Year be filled with love, adventure, and of course, good food!

A Champagne Cocktail for the New Year:

Cherry Pie Sparkler

In honor of the cherry pie I wished for as a child, here’s a cocktail to remind us to share our hopes and dreams with others so that they’ll come true. As we transition into the New Year and eagerly anticipate the exciting adventures that await us in 2012, raise a glass. Here’s to welcoming our dreams in whatever manner they manifest themselves!

Makes one delicious cocktail

4 frozen cherries, slightly defrosted
½ tsp. sugar
a pinch of cinnamon
5 oz. sparkling wine

sugar for the rim of the glass
1 cinnamon stick

To frost the glass with sugar: Gently moisten the rim of a Champagne flute with a damp finger. Sprinkle a teaspoon or so of sugar on a small plate. Dip the rim of the glass in the sugar and roll the edges in the sugar until completely frosted.

To make the cocktail: In a small bowl, muddle the cherries with the sugar and cinnamon. With a small spoon, transfer the cherries to the Champagne flute, and top with the sparkling wine. Serve with a cinnamon stick and enjoy!

***Happy New Year!!!***

Belize Breeze

Help! This cocktail needs a name! 

The winning entry will get to name the cocktail and will receive a  

$20 gift card to Trader Joe's. 
Watch the video and tell me what we should call the drink. Enter as many times as you like by simply leaving your suggestion in the comment box. Tell your friends!!! Contest runs from February 24th-March 7th. 

And the winner is...Belize Breeze!!!

Submitted by Lane B. of San Diego, CA

CONGRATULATIONS!!!