Photographs by Meadow Linn

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

The Waiting Game

I’ve heard that the best way to find something is to stop looking for it. But how do you stop looking for something you really want? I’ve tried, and it just doesn’t seem to work. This time, however, has been different. I gave up scanning the produce aisle at the grocery store, expecting to see my man around the next bend, cruising online dating sites, and asking pitiful and unproductive questions like, “Why not me???” Instead, I’ve decided to do other things while I wait. I’ve been cultivating my garden (I have more heirloom tomatoes than one could easily eat in a lifetime), spending time playing with my dog and cats, spoiling my chickens with delicious table scraps, playing mad scientist in the kitchen, and enjoying life with me. This doesn’t mean that I haven’t shed a few tears along the way, but I finally feel like I’m starting to head down the right path, and the future I’ve dreamed of for so long feels like it could actually start to appear at any moment.

Waiting can be tedious, but I’m trying to remember that I’m living my life in every moment. Life doesn’t actually begin when I meet the right guy, find the perfect job, or have darling children. I’m living it right now, in this moment. I’ve always loved Samuel Beckett’s play, Waiting for Godot. Every time I read the story of the two men who spend their life waiting only to discover that Godot never comes, I’m reminded of the importance of making the most of the here and now.

I like to imagine each of our lives as a constellation in the night sky. The stars represent the big events like a first kiss, a graduation, a new job, an award, a wedding, a baby, and whatever else sets itself apart from the rest. However, it’s the way we spend the time between each of those events that actually creates the constellation. Without those lines, our existence would be made up of nothing but an assortment of unconnected moments. Have you ever looked into the night sky and wondered how anyone could see a bear or a man with a belt, only to see it clearly after the lines were drawn for you? Those lines are the everyday stuff—including the boring, the mundane, the routine, and the repetitive—that actually make the picture of our lives. They can be spent waiting or living.

In my attempt to do more living and less waiting, I’ve been asking myself: How do you want the lines between the stars to be drawn? What feeds your soul and gives purpose to each day? 

I realized that when I am being either creative or productive I feel the happiest. For that reason, cooking keeps me grounded since it allows me to feed both of those needs at the same time. Some people paint, others write or play music, yet others choose to run marathons or read good books in bed. What about you?

In my attempt to stop twiddling my thumbs and wasting time until something exciting comes along, I’m making a greater effort to savor each moment by having more fun and by doing the things that feed my soul. As a result, I’ve spent some very happy hours in the kitchen coming up with tasty treats that I look forward to sharing with you.

Smoked Salmon Crostini

As we enter the holiday season, informal gatherings, cocktail parties, and family dinners abound. I tend to shy away from making appetizers as they generally seem to be overly time consuming to make, especially when a cheese and cracker plate or a few crudités tend to be just as popular. This recipe for smoked salmon crostini, however, is not overly complicated. It is well worth the effort and will be a hit at your next party. Why not snack on a few of these while drawing the lines in your constellation!

1 baguette, cut into 1/4-inch thick slices (cut at a slight angle to increase the surface area)
1/3 cup extra virgin olive oil
1 pkg. cream cheese
1 8-oz pkg. of smoked wild salmon (or more depending on your taste and budget)
1/4 cup capers
1/4 cup red onion, finely diced
zest of one lemon

Preheat oven to 350ºF. To prepare the crostini, pour the olive oil into a large bowl and toss with the sliced bread until evenly coated. Distribute the bread between two baking sheets and toast in the oven until golden brown, about 10 minutes. The bread may need to be flipped halfway through depending on the heat in your oven. When the crostini are cool, spread them with cream cheese and layer with a thin slice of smoked salmon. Top with the capers, red onion, and lemon zest. Enjoy! I’m hungry just thinking about these!


  1. i love the metaphor of the stars and and the space between!! just lovely. :) the "meeting a man" department.... i have a friend that was in a serious relationship a few years ago. after they broke up, she went from one date to the next, completely unfulfilled. at that time, she decided to be in a relationship with herself!! she even went so far as to tattoo a ring on her finger symbolizing a sort of bond or marriage to herself. her needs were to be put first, before she could put anyone else's needs ahead of her own!! i always found that soooo incredibly inspiring! she is now thriving, working hard towards her dreams. :) don't know if that helps at all, but i think about her tattoo often!! so great!

    lots of love to you meadow!! xoxo.

  2. A lovely article and an inspiration to the bit of everyone of us that's waiting for something.

    Love the recipe....and I agree with you, appetizers are so effortful, so it's great to find one that's simpler to make and still looks complicated and extravagant.

    Thank you yet again Meadow!

  3. Wow, I love this! This is great inspiration to give the "space between the stars" more of my awareness. Going to try that recipe too - yay for the simple ones ;-).

  4. Hear, hear, Meadow!!! I would like a partner to share my life with but I don't "need" someone in my life. To have a partner will be icing on the cake!!!

  5. A Spark of Life TransformationsDecember 3, 2010 at 12:47 AM

    Beautiful Meadow. We are all benefitting from your "waiting". I have a baguette and will get some salmon. This looks spectacular and simple. I love it!

  6. Beautiful site! This reminds me of a quote I came across yesterday, "There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval." George Santayana - Thank you for sharing how you're enjoying your interval!

  7. Great post, Meadow. As a fellow person who's trying not to wait impatiently, it's a good reminder. And meanwhile there's so much to cook and eat!

  8. Meadow, you rock!! You put things so beautifully and eloquently - I'm in the same situation; it helps knowing that other obviously wonderful people have also decided to enjoy life now. Life *is* now.

    All best,

  9. Beautiful post Meadow and definitely puts things into perspective. Keep writing!

  10. That picture of you in the kitchen is MAGIC!!! something very priestess-alchemy-healing-transformation is afoot!

    and i totally relate to feeling happiest when creative / productive... and constellations yes, a beautiful image! much much love!

  11. Thank you! I was married 30 years so I haven't been looking but lately it has felt that I have been "waiting" for something. So thank you for the inspiration to live for today.

  12. What a lovely post Meadow, I love your metaphor too. What a great way to look at life, noticing every part not just the exciting ones and being present in those moments and it is applicable to any situation where you feel you are waiting for something. Thank you

  13. meadow, i read your blog post about looking or waiting for your "One" - and you are totally on the right path by putting your creative energy into cooking and other pursuits that you enjoy. several years ago I was fed up and frustrated in my search for "the One" - he was all i wanted for many years and i was helping others find their One, but I was still left single. my story is a long one and one that made national and international headlines, but to sum it up, I put my energy into a creative pursuit - which ended up being an inspiration to others, in my search for love, and then the Universe stepped in even more and took me on a transformational journey where I learned how to partner with it to bring love to me, rather than waiting or looking for it. That website and that frustration, etc that i had all those years looking for love, ended up being such a beautiful blessing as that ends up being my life's work ( )- and where i help others now. i wish you the very best in your journey and i am so happy to see you are consciously making the choice to enjoy the journey and that's exactly how you will draw the One to you. Sending you lots of love